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  • Writer's pictureMiriam Green

Hands Off

Now that my dad is over his cold, we’ve scheduled a visit at week’s end for him to see Mom. She continues to have periods of extreme animation, and the short videos that the nurses send us are truly wonderful to view.

I am fearful that I have taken my hands off the reins in striving to care for her. She is well cared for but she is inaccessible to me for most of her days. I keep thinking of that aphorism: Out of sight, out of mind. It has allowed me to momentarily focus on other things like putting my house in order, searching for a job, reading some good books, and try to mentally care for myself in this time of Corona.

When we first contemplated putting Mom in a care facility, the one we chose was actually about 45 minutes’ drive away. We reckoned that Dad would see her maybe twice a week, and I’d go once a week to visit. For whatever reason, the facility turned us down and led us to find an even better place that was extremely close to our house. Location, location. Once we were able to visit her in her new “home,” I couldn’t comprehend how we’d thought that her being so far away was a good thing. Dad visited her every day and I believe this attention gave her much comfort and kept her strong.

Today, we are all hampered by the virus, and Dad visits Mom only once a week and I am relegated to seeing her less frequently based on the goodwill of some staff members. The current rule is one visit per week per family.

Is this acceptance? Or resignation? Or maybe it doesn’t matter how I feel because circumstances have circumscribed my abilities to act other than I act. And maybe I’m being too philosophical about a bad corona situation.

I don’t see Mom enough to know how she is when she’s not on video: how she’s eating or sleeping, or countless other aspects of her daily life. I can only push ahead valiantly and resolve to do my best under the circumstances. This must be enough for now.

Move aside salads. Hello, peanut butter fudge! I was itching to try an easy and unusual recipe, especially as everything else in my life was feeling uncontrollable. I can’t believe how good this fudge tastes. Or how high sugar content. It’s a little dramatic, to say the least, how much sugar I’ve put into my body since I made this fudge. Next time I’m adding chocolate!

Easy Peanut Butter Fudge

Serve small pieces of this dessert because it is so sweet that more than one piece (alright, two) will jump-start your energizer bunny batteries. Note that this recipe is made with margarine and not butter in deference to those in my family with lactose intolerance. This recipe is easily doubled.

½ cup peanut butter

½ cup margarine

2 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla

Pinch of salt


Melt margarine and peanut butter in microwave on high for 30 second-bursts mixing between each until melted. When margarine and peanut butter are thoroughly blended, stir in vanilla, salt, and sugar, one cup at a time. Press mixture into a small pan lined with baking paper and place in refrigerator for up to two hours. Remove from fridge when hardened. Cut into small cubes and serve.

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